My personal experience as a Woman of Colour in STEM

I first moved to England when I was 4 years old, I didn’t know a single word of English, and I stuck out like a sore thumb in a majority white town in Devon. I was different in every aspect, my colour, my language, my dressing, everything, but the one thing ingrained into me was the need to be perfect.

In South Asian culture, as soon as child is born, it was a family decision to decide whether the child should become a doctor, engineer or lawyer, i.e. the career paths of security. STEM as a subject was ingrained into my mind from my family and culture, the need to have a high paying job in a reputable field which will increase the family status, a certificate of proof that I had utilised my opportunity to its maximum potential. My mother always told me how I should be grateful for coming to England, many could only dream of it, and therefore I wasn’t allowed to slack, I had to do better and I had to show that I could measure up to my white counterparts.

Now on paper this seems easy, as the saying goes “work hard, reap the rewards”, unfortunately it was much more challenging than expected. I had to study English everyday with my mum after school to even grasp the grammar of the English language, 2 hours every day, Monday to Friday, no break, no giving up. I initially struggled a lot in school; I had to constantly translate everything that was said into my home language Malayalam and re-translate back into English to even grasp basic concepts. It felt like I was constantly behind and even worse because I was a girl, it was expected I’d be slow and not understand the difficult subjects such as Maths and Science. I remember as a young girl, I hated science because my family highlighted how important it was for me to be a doctor and understand the subject to do well. They didn’t know how it felt to feel unintelligent in a class where everyone understood the teacher the first time, where they didn’t have to ask the teacher for help and explain in simple terms, and didn’t feel like a failure every time they entered school. And in my house, failure was NOT an option.

I first started enjoying science over high school and college, I chose to do A level psychology and criminology as an extend option on top of biology and chemistry, that’s where neuroscience first became a part of my life. The combination of chemicals and molecular mechanisms influencing our behaviours was incredibly fascinating to me. Introducing the subject of possibly choosing a science degree over medicine, was my parents’ biggest disappointment. They warned me of how unreliable the sector is, and how risky it is as a woman, since it was a male dominated field, it was not “a safe or stable career path for an Indian woman”. I had a choice between my parents’ ideals, or following my passion, and I chose to do the latter (now one of the best choices I ever made!).

Studying neuroscience at university was one of the toughest journeys of my life, but also the most rewarding. I was surrounded by some of the smartest people I knew, and while there were still women of colour on my course, our companionship offered us solidarity. It was motivating hearing their future aspirations and ambitions, creating a network of South Asian women who aided each other in navigating educational and industrial opportunities in science. Having other women as mentors, lecturers, and friends who relate to your struggles of feeling underestimated and undermined, but also overcoming those difficulties to reach their positions, gave me confidence as well.

In an Asian household, most women are born with a countdown already set. You can pursue your life until you prioritise the concept of starting a family, even if it comes at the cost of your entire educational life. There are many young girls and women who may relate to the feeling of being “put in a box”, creating the absence of a dream they could have achieved. But thankfully, this is changing, we now have women who are overcoming hurdles and cultural barriers, to pursue their academic ambitions.

From hating science to completing a Master’s in Neuroscience, I followed my passions, eventually made my parents proud while also becoming a representation of a scientist I desperately wanted to see in my childhood.

The image that we see when we hear the term “scientist” may have initially been a white man in a lab coat, but now we have expansion and representation so that, any girl or woman who wants to become a scientist, can imagine herself in that role – despite what her colour may be.